When you have just been broken up with your whole world can come crashing down and it feels as though all the hopes and plans that you had for the future with this person were futile. At times it can even feel as though you do not have a future without them. This is a completely natural way to feel during the break up phase, so do not be too hard on yourself.
In reality, breakups are very like deaths. Everyone needs their own time to grieve for someone they have lost and in most cases people do not give themselves the right amount of time they deserve to function again properly. Not only that, friends and family around you sometimes do not help. You are constantly told to get over it, pick yourself up and get back on the horse. As you probably already know, these platitudes do not work and are probably the last thing that you want to hear. Instead of encouraging you to get on with your life, they can in fact drive you into deeper despair because no one seems to understand your need to grieve.
You would not hear a friend telling you to get over it or move on if a close family member died, would you? Break up is no different. Of course no one has died, but the feelings are very similar, the rawness in emotion over losing someone that you love is very real. It is a process that has to be dealt with in the right way in order for you to actually get better and enable you to cope.
Probably one of the first thoughts in your mind after a break up is disbelief and shock, especially if it came completely out of the blue. You will also be desperate to change things around and get your ex back again. This is a very common need in people post break up and also a very natural one. However, the desperation and pain that people experience after they have been dumped leads them to do things that they normally would not do if they were in a rational state of mind.
The fact is that love can be a sort of addiction, research has proven it. What do all addicts have in common? A desperation to get their fix. This may be putting it in exaggerated terms, but think about it. If your ex has just broken up with you, you are not in a rational frame of mind, you dissect everything they say and do, you crave their attention, want to hear from them, see them, bump into them, know how they feel, what they are doing.
How attractive does this look to your ex?
If you think of it in terms of an addict coming up to you, desperation in their eyes for you to help them with their next fix, how would you react to them? I would hazard a guess that you would not have a huge amount of respect for them or want to be around them for a long period of time. In fact you would pity them at best and at worst be disgusted.
Does Your Ex See You In The Same Way?
If you are groveling to your ex to take you back, to speak to you, to give it another try, turning up on their doorstep, texting them, asking questions etc this will only reinforce their decision to break up with you in the first place. Think about it. They will see you as desperate and clingy and look upon you with pity. This is not the way to go about getting your ex back, it will only push them further and further away.
So What Works Then?
Try to look back to the time when you and your ex got together in the first place. How different as a person are you then than you are now? What has changed? You will probably find that you were much more confident then, more mysterious to your ex, interesting, exciting and they had a huge deal of respect for you. It is these qualities that are attractive to the opposite sex and the reason why your ex was attracted to you in the first place.
Biologically we all want something that is harder to get, especially men, when you think about it, we value someone or something that we have to work for. We end up respecting it much more and holding it in higher esteem. This is the mindset that you have to arm yourself with if you want to get you ex back. This simple change is the first thing that you should do in your strategy to get your ex back, in doing so you will notice a huge change, not only in yourself, but also in the way that your ex reacts to you. This in turn will boost your confidence and give you the motivation to use the other effective strategies that are recommended by the experts.
What Are The Other Strategies?
There are so many tips and tricks that work, that I can not go into depth about them all in this article. Basically, the strategy centers around understanding the male and female psyche in general and how they react especially after break up. Most people are clueless about how the other sex thinks in this situation and this is what leads to the break up in the first place, confusion and heart ache. If you understand the essentials then you have a huge advantage over your ex which will begin to make them view you in a completely different way and make them attracted to you again.
The Magic Of Making Up Guide
If you want to get your ex back I would highly recommend this amazing guide that has helped thousands of couples to reunite all over the world. It is called The Magic Of Making Up and it provides a unique inside into the mind of your ex, what works and what you should not do. Most importantly, it gives you a proven strategy that will work for you to get your ex back in a relatively short time.
This guide will teach you counter-intuitive strategies to get your ex to chase you instead of the other way round. He explains human psychology in a way to make you understand what you have been doing wrong so far. You will also learn how to correct your past mistakes so that your ex sees you in a positive light.
There is a very personal approach with this guide. T Dub happily provides you with his email address should you need help with specific situations.
The most important thing to remember at this time is to take heart. You are not alone and there is help out there. Even if it seems like your situation is hopeless at the moment and your ex does not want anything to do with you, you can completely turn this situation around if you think that the relationship is worth fighting for.